So, in the year 2021, it appears that the definition of the phrase “Far Right” has been morphed from a person who is on the extreme right wing of politics and who believes in non-mainstream, fringe ideas to anybody who disagrees with or who refuses to capitulate completely to something that they disagree with. So, for you to stay ahead of the times, I’ve taken the time to compile together a handy list of warning signs that may mean that you are far right in 2021.

Number 1: Liberalism

Sorry, liberals: you’re actually a bunch of extremists. You see, obviously, it’s a fringe idea to suggest that it’s wrong to tell and entire generation of people that, just because of their race, they have no place in the world and cannot succeed without help. I mean, come on! The system is against all of you and will only keep pushing you back down. The liberals just hate all ethnicities other than their own, because they don’t think that its right for us to collectivise you all together. I mean, come on! They just all have white fragility.

But, that’s not the end of it. Those liberals even believe that it’s wrong to claim that all white people are racist, because white people as a collective are just as wrong to collectivise as other ethnicities. Now, I think we all know that racism is bad, but when its directed at white people, it’s allright because they were the ones in the past who owned slaves and who benefited from racism. So, the liberals are all just a bunch or racists when they want us to stop what we are doing.

Number 2: Scientists

But wait: I don’t mean the good kind like Dr. Fauci or those guys over in the WIV - they are the good kind who promote social justice and prove that we are objectively correct! I mean the bad kind who consider new ideas (even racist, evil ones!) and actually take them seriously. I mean, are you seriously going to listen to racist, transphobe, bigot, far-right, conspiracy theorist idiots? I don’t think so. Scientists should have a duty to censor and ignore ideas that suggest racism or transphobia as much as they can! After all, science is all about progress.

Also, the fact that scientists claim to be able to discover objective reality is highly offensive and clearly only something a far-right believer would say, as reality is whatever you percieve it to be, because that’s your identity.

Number 3: Humanists

Humanists say that there is no God, so they are obviously islamaphobic bigots for not accepting people’s ideas. Imagine if a humanist and a Muslim were to meet! Imagine what kind of dangerous thinks they could do, like disagree or have an argument over God. This is obviously all the fault of the humanists, who are so intolerant, I think they are far right. And, get this, prominant humanists like Richard Dawkins are even suggesting that we should dare to misgender and cause violence against trans people. Clearly, humanism has gone too far and I think we should call them out for their far-rightness.

Number 4: Christians

If I even need to tell you why all Christians are far right, you are far right too. Christianity teaches evil, bigotted things such as forgiving those who do wrong against you (clearly an allegory for exploitation in capitalism) and loving others as yourself (clearly intolerant of homosexual people, as they can only love those of the same gender as themself). Not to mention all the evil things it says about people earlier on in the book (we do not speak its name). Christians also teach of personal responsibility and resilience to pain and suffering, which just seeks to victim blame those who have disphoria and suffering every day. So, I think its safe to say that all Christians are very far right and bigots.

Number 5: Libertarians

Oh, you thought that libertarians could get away better than liberals? Well, think again! Libertarians preach the clearly bigoted idea that government should be limited in power, which is bigoted because the government could solve all our problems if we just let it! The people who say it shouldn’t are just intolerant of people who want the government to solve their problems for them, who have been victimised by the evil libertarians. The libertarians are just using their priviledge of not having provlems to say that the government shouldn’t be allowed to solve anybody else’s problems - which clearly makes them far right.

Number 6: Computer programmers

Computer programmers use a number system called “binary”, which enforces the artificial idea of the gender binary and causes significant disphoria to trans people. Also, computers have devices called “master and slave drives”, which was clearly designed by a confederate who wanted to own slaves. I think we all really knew that computer programmers are all far-right deep down.

Number 7: Podcasters

You see, the problem with podcasters is that they like to talk to lots of people, and that sometimes includes far-right bigots. This is clearly irresponsible and dangerous, because we can’t allow these dangerous ideas to proliferate thoughout society.

Number 8: Engineers

Over 90% of engineers are male, which means that they must be discriminating against the huge amounts of females that apply and must just want to turn their under-staffed workplaces into ethostates but for gender! I think that all engineers must be far-right after realising this. So, if you’re and engineer and you’re reading this, I hate you until you either become a woman or employ one.

Number 9: George Orwell

George Orwell wrote novels which warn against us controlling people’s speech, which obviously is only an idea that a far-right, offensive, evil bigot would come up with. Also, he wrote stories about his time as a police officer in colonial territories, which makes him a coloniser, a fascist and a racist. He also tried to claim that communism is just as bad a fascism and worse than capitalism, which the fact checkers said isn’t true! All of this makes me think that we ought to start banning Orwell’s books - or at least rewriting them to make them a bit more accurate to the real world.

Number 10: Joseph Stalin

Joseph Stalin is probably the chief far-right bigot of the 20th century. Not only did he kill people (something only evil capitalists can do), but he also had people imprisoned for their beliefs and was obviously ableist. I think we need to re-write history to make sure that everybody knows that Joseph Stalin was so far-right.